When Helping May Not Be So Helpful

I grew up always being the idealistic one in my family.  And every now and then, I would suddenly have a light-bulb moment.  Whenever a creative idea comes to mind, I literally feel the passion surge through my veins as I turn into hyper-focus mode and day dream about it, analyze through it, and research on it.  As a young child, however, moments like these were often met with suggestions that would make me feel that I was either too young or lacked the skill or experience to realize these dreams.

As I was driving on my way to pick up Tweetie Pie from school today, I thought about how I spent so much of my life shying away from the process of fulfilling such dreams because I felt so small against what seemed to me were the giant obstacles I needed to hurdle.

Suddenly, I remembered a book that I loved to read to TP when she was a little girl:  The Carrot Seed by Ruth Krauss.  It's about a little boy who planted a carrot seed but was consistently warned by his family that the plant wouldn't grow.  Despite all they said, he continued to water the plant everyday and pull up the weeds around it -- until one day, the plant did grow just the way he always believed it would.

I read this book a hundred times before upon TP's repetitive request.  But somehow, it was only today that it came back to me with new meaning:  This book is about a boy so small and yet had a big dream. He started working on it all with just a tiny seed and patiently nurtured it day by day by day, not letting anyone or anything intimidate him.

My little Tweetie Pie looooooves doing art.  Every single day, we have many drawings and paintings to sort and pack away.  Over a  month ago, a student in her school organized an Ecology Art Contest.  For the lower school (Prep to Grade 2), students who wanted to participate in the contest were asked to submit an artwork that expressed how they can help save the earth.

When I saw the announcement, I immediately thought about how TP would definitely want to participate in this contest.  True enough, she came down from her classroom excitedly telling me about the announcement the students made in their classroom about it, followed immediately with the words, "I want to join!"

I immediately replied, "Sure, why not?" with my big, encouraging smile and hug.... And yet there was this other part of me that worried about her entry not being good enough. (Shame on me.)

And just like the little girl that I was, my dear TP immediately proceeded to work on her entry as soon as we got home that day.  Not long after, she came back to me with her work of art saying, "Done!"

This is the artwork that she submitted.

I looked at her work and loved the creative concept of putting all her DOs and DON'Ts inside the planet earth!  But I have to admit that the Claire Dunphy in me who could not understand what she drew inside that planet was soooo tempted to make suggestions (okay, maybe I mean to help!) and improve on it.  Although it took quite an internal struggle for me, I bit my lip and held back on helping her since, after all, it would maker her much more proud of herself to be able to say she did it all on her own.

Today, I arrived at her school and met an excited Tweetie Pie who was proudly declaring, "Mama!  I won 2nd prize in the contest!!!" 

Boy, am I glad that I shushed that micromanaging mom in me!  Now TP can truly be proud because she did it all by herself.  At the end of it all, it really isn't about whether or not she wins anything....  It's really about how much of her own best effort she put into it and can say that she gave her work all she could.

My prayer is that my children will grow up believing in their dreams and doing whatever it takes to turn it to reality, undaunted by obstacles that come their way -- just like that little boy who planted a carrot seed.